Barker, Plays Eight Read online

JOHN (Miming.) Huts – WOOF!

  ASAFIR (To YORAKIM.) Pilchard?

  YORAKIM I think we are going to be killed.

  ASAFIR Not for the first time.

  YORAKIM Not killed for the first time…?

  ASAFIR Not the first time you have –

  YORAKIM I dreamed this.

  ASAFIR I know.

  YORAKIM When I was a child I dreamed this moment –

  ASAFIR We should have asked for guards. In retrospect we obviously should have asked for guards. I thought the flag would speak but clearly it does not. At least not adequately. I do apologize.

  YORAKIM (Describing the dream.) I fall to the ground –

  ASAFIR I don’t think John is getting anywhere –

  YORAKIM My head is separated from my body by a single blow –

  ASAFIR Are you, John? Getting anywhere?

  YORAKIM Bounce it goes, and bounce –

  ASAFIR (Standing now.) Thank you, anyway –

  YORAKIM (As GAY and OTHERS enter, armed.) The unusual perspective of a severed head…(Pause.)

  GAY I am going to cut your throats. (Pause.)

  ASAFIR Why, for goodness’ sake?

  GAY (To JOHN.) And you, collaborator, you will be burned in a dustbin.

  ASAFIR Make the following points, please –

  JOHN (To GAY.) I WANTED A JOB, MATE.

  ASAFIR One.

  YORAKIM Get a move on, she –

  ASAFIR One. (He pauses, wearily.)

  YORAKIM GO ON, THEN…! (Pause.)

  ASAFIR No, I don’t think there is any point…

  GAY You arrogant and half-dead mannikins.

  YORAKIM You have offended her, and now we shall be most cruelly used.

  GAY In your imperialist silks and turbans spun of slavery.

  ASAFIR I have no political opinions, I am a simple administrator of a frontier line but I will not stoop to plead to a European bitch. There! I have given away my feelings and please do it quickly.

  JOHN (Desperately.) I WANTED A JOB FOR MY MUM WHOSE SPINE HAS TURNED TO BISCUIT – ALL DAY SHE CRIES IN BED –

  GAY Extenuating gibberish. Many of us suffer but how few of us betray.

  JOHN Many of us don’t love our mothers –

  GAY OH, BURN HIM QUICK! (They drag him away.) I think, if we heard all the excuses in the world, no action would occur, and justice would attenuate, an incomprehensible word.

  ASAFIR Not a bad thing, surely?

  GAY YOU WOULD SAY THAT BECAUSE YOU ARE ON TOP.

  ASAFIR Admittedly. Such is the yawning gulf between our cultures, nothing I say can possibly affect you –

  YORAKIM No –

  ASAFIR Were I possessed of all the wisdom of my race it could not –

  YORAKIM (In despair.) No, no, WRONG ARGUMENT!

  ASAFIR (To YORAKIM.) I am not concerned with survival, I am concerned with truth.

  GAY Excellent! Because I shall cut your throats whatever you say. You could be utterly persuasive, logically coherent and morally supreme, and I would still act. KNIFE! (She holds out her hand to A FOLLOWER.) Does that fill you with despair?

  YORAKIM Yes…

  ASAFIR No…

  YORAKIM IT FILLS ME WITH DESPAIR.

  ASAFIR I regard it as the essence of the human condition.

  GAY (Triumphantly.) In which case it would be a disappointment if you were spared!

  ASAFIR (Conceding.) I am hoist with my own philosophy.

  GAY You are! Now take off your funny clothes, you are dying naked.

  ASAFIR Are we not sufficiently within your power but you –

  GAY NEVER SUFFICIENT. (Pause.) Do you think I’ll let you die with dignity? Your dignity affronts me. STRIP THEM IF THEY – (They let fall their clothes.) Take this one away and cut his throat.

  ASAFIR Don’t kill my colleague. He is terribly in love with life and –

  GAY THAT’S WHY I WANT TO ROB HIM OF IT. (They take him out.) You really do not understand the nature of revenge. Its satisfactions. Do you?

  ASAFIR No. I just draw maps.

  GAY Your false neutrality.

  ASAFIR I make lines on cartridge paper.

  GAY Your spurious privilege.

  ASAFIR And even as I draw the line I think, this line can’t last. Sometimes we draw the line down the middle of a church, and sometimes through a mosque. A dozing drunkard with a reed could mark the frontiers just as well.

  GAY Then why –

  ASAFIR It brings me near the essence of all life. (Pause. She looks at him for a long time. Then extends the knife to another.)

  GAY Execute him. Because what he tells me I don’t wish to know. (They lead ASAFIR out.)

  ACT TWO

  PROLOGUE

  MACLUBY: In the ribbon of green a man is hoeing

  Refugees

  This one tried wit on thieves

  This one tried pity on the police

  This one wasted irony on the fanatic

  In the ribbon of fertility rich horticulturalists

  Dispute the skills of sportsmen

  The hours are dying like wasps in the jam

  Even blood

  Would creep out of an artery

  With the stray cat’s indolence

  And the murdered mistress makes no special noise

  She does not beat

  She does not hammer with her heels

  The hanging gong of the afternoon

  The silence of the valley is held breath

  The outbreak

  Lives in the contingency

  The effect of the day’s taste in the mouth

  Not just the act

  But the choice the act induced

  Sarajevo did not cause the death of fifteen

  Million

  The theft of Helen did not cause the Siege of Troy

  Or Japan’s atrocity Hiroshima

  No more causes of wars will do

  NOT JUST THE ACT

  But the choice the act induced

  Shh

  All peace is stopped breath

  Shh

  All love’s suspension of returning solitude

  At night the temple trembles

  And the park is tense

  Its false orders

  Its unearthly symmetry

  It knows its chance is brief

  We inscribed the fountain as if we believed

  This dispensation was eternal

  The empire was unshakable

  And at the spectacle of culture

  Dirty tribesmen would not

  could not

  but kneel

  Oh, the tomb’s false request for exemption

  This at least

  This surely must

  This cannot but command

  Your temperance

  You yet unborn

  You yet to conquer

  The cynicism of the generations

  Is no less atomizing than the swipe of weapons

  Wielded by the hour’s enemy

  That was my only

  What is that trivial thing to you

  Your passion for destruction might at

  least

  The litter of unavailing arguments

  A cloud of disbelief in every tongue

  Drifts out of cities

  Giving earth her rings

  More terrible than Saturn

  WE ENTER AFTER THE SIEGE

  WE DO A LITTLE KILLING

  WE ARE NOT OLD FASHIONED

  WE DO NOT SPARE THE WOMEN

  WE STRING UP THE RESISTERS

  AS WE ARE PERMITTED

  WE TICKLE THE INFANT’S CHIN

  AND WATCH ITS SISTER SPITTED

  And with the draining out of this joyful

  Malevolence experience depression such as the

  Act of an equal love induces

  We played cards with the survivors

  Whose grins were false

  I was sorry to detect…

  SCENE ONE

  SAVAGE is seated and with authority
.

  SAVAGE: My great peace. WHO COULD LIKE ME NOW? My restoration. WHO COULD SEE ME WITHOUT HATRED? I no longer sit on the edge of my chair. My arse spreads. My arse occupies! DR SAVAGE SUPREMELY VILE, ENTER ALL SUPPLIANTS! (He leaps up as a crowd surrounds him.) Not there! Don’t come any nearer! Not there, there! SILENCE! Speak when I indicate you thus – a finger pointed – no shoving – MY WISDOM IS AVAILABLE TO ALL – I said no shoving – thus far and no further – SHUT UP AND STILL AS GARGOYLES – (He points.) You! (He feigns attention.) Mm. (Pause.) Mm. (Pause.) Mm. (Pause.) Enough. The details are – you go on – like an old woman who has the doctor’s ear – STOP. (Pause.) I meditate. (Pause.) I pass judgement. Of course the verdict’s the source of future quarrel! NEXT! You! Not you! The one with the bulbous nose – HAVE YOU GOT A BULBOUS NOSE? You have? The physiognomy of Trojan archetypes! The wall-eyed, then. (Pause.) Mm. (Pause.) Mm. (Pause.) Mm. (As he performs this, HELEN enters, watches unseen.) Mm. (Pause.) STOP! I meditate. (Pause.) I pass judgement. Of course the wrong man suffers! NEXT! You! Not you! The one with the jug ears – not you – HAVE YOU GOT JUG EARS? You have? The classic feature of the Trojan race! The hare-lipped then. (Pause.) Mm. (Pause.) Mm. (Pause.) Mm. (Pause.) I tire of – the plethora of ramification – PRECIS IS THE KEY TO JUSTICE, STOP! (He rolls on his knees, laughing, sees HELEN, is still. He holds up his hands.) No bin. (He stares at her. He claps his hands. THE SUPPLIANTS depart.) The political arrangements of Laughing Troy leave much to be desired but – (Pause.) Always we talk of making a new man but the old man will insist–(Pause.) His servile habits – his melancholy aspect – (Pause.) And the tendency of poets to crop up like weeds and spread dissent but only for dissension’s sake, why? Why? (Pause.) Someone is chalking walls with very long words, who? (Pause.) And laughter…! You would think sometimes they were pissing milk crates, judging by their rictus jaws. (Pause.) There is a medical disorder called Iron Cheek, have you heard? The oiling of the jawbone with whalefat offers some relief but laughter seems to hurt the face as I imagine endless weeping would, it’s epidemic and some have died, no one predicted this but – (He stares at her.) When you were whole I did not feel for you what – (HOGBIN appears, skips behind HELEN.) WHO SAID YOU COULD COME IN…! This retinue, this circus of the maimed and callow – it spoils your –

  HOGBIN: ‘ho says I’m callow? I say you’re ‘ollow.

  SAVAGE: Dignity in suffering!

  HOGBIN: You say callow, I say hollow, you say shallow, and I say –

  SAVAGE: DOES HE HAVE TO ACCOMPANY YOU AT ALL TIMES OF –

  HELEN: Yes. (Pause.)

  HOGBIN: I say you could ‘ave more limbs than an octopus and still not grasp a simple truth, such as –

  SAVAGE: SHUT UP, YOU –

  HOGBIN: Pity makes your cock big, so pity’s only power – OI!

  SAVAGE: I DO NOT SEE YOU. (Pause.)

  HOGBIN: ‘e doesn’t see me…

  SAVAGE: He does not exist, however present he may be.

  HOGBIN: I don’t exist…

  SAVAGE: Like the butler in the bedroom, or the skivvy at the hearth, to the master you’re invisible.

  HOGBIN: (Screwing himself into a combination of the three monkeys.) I’m invisible…(Pause. SAVAGE grapples with speech.)

  SAVAGE: I have followed you down streets…and where I saw you once…returned…at the same hour…fruitlessly, of course…what is your itinerary…you do presumably go… I WILL PERSIST WITH THIS…you have your place but I obviously (Pause.) My lungs, my stomach have all gone void and howling with – (In desperation he extends a hand to her.) Helen – (Suddenly HOGBIN slaps his face.)

  HOGBIN: There!

  SAVAGE: (Reeling.) What –

  HOGBIN: (Darting behind HELEN.) Her arms, not mine! (SAVAGE makes to grab him.) HER ARMS…! (He pretends to scratch HELEN’s neck.)

  HELEN: What?

  SAVAGE: How can I when –

  HELEN: What? (Pause.)

  SAVAGE: I have to be your lover. I who invented your condition MUST. (Pause.)

  HELEN: To be my lover? And what is that? (Pause.)

  SAVAGE: What is it…?

  HELEN: WHAT IS IT, YES!

  HOGBIN: (To SAVAGE.) Are you deaf or something? You talk about the beginning and she wants to know the end. (SAVAGE reaches out. Again HOGBIN beats his hand away. SAVAGE reels.) Thinks to finger me. Thinks to touch specific parts will weaken all resistance. He’s read a book on the erogenous zones which says the touch kills argument.

  SAVAGE: Help me.

  HOGBIN: HELP YOU? HELP YOU?

  SAVAGE: I twist. I writhe. I’m poisoned. Mind of slab of concrete and the minutes hang off me like crankshafts, I could snap the hands off clocks they move so sullenly. THE LENGTH OF A NIGHT, do you know THE IMPOSSIBLE DURATION OF A SINGLE NIGHT, I lick the clouds for dawn, and cats, I know their tracks and habits, the wriggle of the tomcat’s arse and all the lashing of dawn choruses, IT HURTS TO LOOK AT YOU, I would chuck imagination in the ditch and bury it for one moment of your sad mouth against my sad mouth. (He sees HOGBIN’s expression.) WHAT’S HE TO YOU, THE GRINNING BASTARD? (He bites his lip. Pause.)

  HELEN: Nothing new. (Pause.)

  SAVAGE: No…

  HELEN: In your message. (Pause.)

  SAVAGE: Well no…

  HELEN: Is there?

  SAVAGE: I suppose there wouldn’t be –

  HELEN: Nothing new in that. (Pause.) Why maim me? (Pause.) I WAS ALREADY A SPECTACLE OF PAIN, WHY ELSE DID THEY WANT ME? (SAVAGE stares at her.) Beauty did you say? No, it’s pain they loved…(HOGBIN’s hands reach up to SAVAGE’s face, and hold him.) My kiss is stiff as brick, and my womb full of straw, but he won’t mind…(He draws SAVAGE to HELEN’s breast.) Arid Helen… But he won’t mind…(SAVAGE shudders.) Listen, his male murmur, his male thirst…(CREUSA enters, looks.)

  CREUSA: Who needs arms to fasten in their buttocks? (Pause.)

  HOGBIN: I can’t see you today…

  CREUSA: I’LL THRUST MY ARMS IN A REAPING MACHINE, WILL THAT MAKE ME POPULAR? (Pause.)

  HOGBIN: I can’t see you today…

  CREUSA: Well, no, you’ve got work to do. SHOULD I STUFF MY ARSE IN A SHREDDER?

  SAVAGE: (Catching a sound.) Shh! (Pause.)

  CREUSA: I plant it like a seed. Mum’s Troy. It sprouts. It blooms. It sends out runners.

  SAVAGE: (Getting to his feet.) Listen! (Pause. He cups his ear.) No laughter…

  HOGBIN: (Straining his ear.) No drums.

  SAVAGE: Or rattles. THE TAMBOURINE HAS CEASED, HEY!

  SHADE: (Running in.) SILENCE…! WHERE’S IT COMING FROM?

  HOGBIN: (Pointing arbitrarily.) There…(EPSOM and GUMMERY hurry in.)

  SHADE: (Indicating.) There! (EPSOM rushes in the direction.)

  HOGBIN: No, there! (GUMMERY looks in bewilderment, and EPSOM returns, blankly.)

  EPSOM: Hold it…

  SHADE: Noises are starting in my head. The whispering of shared and subtle sacraments. Start a carnival! (No one moves. Pause.) I hear the little stirring of the private act. Make the bands play! (Still no one moves. Realisation dawns on SHADE. He walks slowly across the stage, stops.) The word today is – (Suddenly, as if impulsively, GUMMERY seizes SHADE in his arms, pinioning him and lifting him off the ground.)

  GUMMERY: No word!

  SHADE: Oh, Brian, you – Oh, Brian, you magnificent specimen, I twitch in your embrace as the helpless hamster in the infant’s fingers. BUT TO WHAT EFFECT! (Pause.) All right, I’ll have a tantrum. (He kicks his legs like a baby.) Tantrum, all right? Now, can we get back to politics, we have a state to govern. (Pause.)

  GUMMERY: What shall I do? (He turns to anyone who will listen.) What shall I do? (Pause.)

  SHADE: Come on, Brian, they will be missing you in the gymnasium. Put me down, will you. (Pause.)

  GUMMERY: I can’t put you down.

  SHADE: You can’t? Why not?

  GUMMERY: Because I picked you up.

  SHADE: What? Logic! Logic! Can’t put me down because you – Logic! Logi
c!

  GUMMERY: I picked you up to stop you, and if I put you down you’ll start again. So I can’t put you down. (Pause.)

  SHADE: Well, Brian, you have a problem. It comes to making gestures that you can’t complete.

  EPSOM: Put him down if he promises to –

  SHADE: NO DEALS.

  EPSOM: Barry, you ain’t in much of a position to –

  SHADE: I AM IN THE BEST POSITION. I HAVE THE BRAIN. (Pause.) Really, who would credit this? People don’t know how they’re governed.

  GUMMERY: (To EPSOM.) I don’t know what to do…

  SHADE: You don’t, do you? You really don’t?

  GUMMERY: Les? (EPSOM shrugs.)

  SHADE: No luck with Les.

  GUMMERY: SHUDDUP WILL YER! (Pause.)

  SHADE: I won’t ask if your arms are aching because you are in such wonderful condition no doubt you could keep this up for weeks, I only ask you, in all humbleness, do you know what you’re doing? (Pause.)

  GUMMERY: No.

  SHADE: Excellent. Point of departure. Now, put me on the ground and we –

  CREUSA: No –

  SHADE: What?

  CREUSA: No –

  SHADE: Come again –

  CREUSA: Don’t –

  SHADE: Brian, this is a Trojan bitch –

  CREUSA: Put him down and they’ll hate you in every bar between the dockyards and the allotments –

  SHADE: Brian –

  CREUSA: Women will knit your shape in wool and throw darts at it –

  SHADE: Listen, we fought ten years for one whore, don’t let another –

  CREUSA: KEEP HIM UP, I SAID.

  SHADE: COME ON, DOCTOR, IT’S YOUR GOVERNMENT! (Pause.) Oh doctor… I think you wear silence like a tart wears frocks, half off the shoulder…to make more appetizing the hagflesh underneath…ANYTHING UNDERNEATH? (Pause.)

  SAVAGE: I must betray you, do you mind? (Pause.) I am a traitor by instinct, because to doubt is treason, and I doubt commitment even as I utter it, whether to women or the state. Have you noticed, I write constitutions as boys make planes from glue and balsa? (Pause.) And now you ache to punish me. I do understand that, the thirst for punishment, I do know disloyalty burns the stomach to a cinder. (Pause.) Don’t put him down, he’ll only ram sharp things in our eyes…

  SCENE TWO

  FLADDER, seated, weaves a massive basket.

  HELEN: When you lost your tongue, did you stop thinking? (He looks at her.) The contrary, of course. (Pause.) And so with me. (Pause.) ARMLESS I REACH OUT, WHY? (Pause. He works.) I tell you this because you are my husband. Come what may, this fuck or that, this famine or this riot, you are my husband. (Pause.) Funny word. I think it most mean, like old domestic dog, or cat, HAD TEETH ONCE. WAS WILD IN CERTAIN STATES. (He stops.) Oh, don’t weep. DON’T WEEP I HONOUR YOU. (Pause.) All right, not honour, I don’t honour you, I retail my life. (Pause.) WHO ELSE SHOULD I TELL? I am carrying the doctor’s child. (Pause.) I think. (Pause.) Do do the raffia. Weave on. (Pause. She spontaneously goes to him, nuzzles his head.) Oh, you must have developed so much in your silence, I think if your late wisdom was inscribed I’d say, BRILLIANT BUT UTTERLY INCOMPREHENSIBLE! So remote you are, so distant from our – (CREUSA appears. HELEN turns to face her.) Don’t pester me, I can still kick.